A story: Last year in one of my Purity Culture Dropout™ Divorce Support Groups, I met an incredible woman named Shauna. She shared with us how she's healing her own religious trauma and relationship with her body through yin yoga- first as a student, and then as an instructor. I invited Shauna to lead our group through one of her classes, and it was just incredible. Shauna tailored her class to the experience of a religious trauma survivor, and it felt like a warm hug. I was struck by her...
10 days ago • 3 min read
This is just a last chance reminder that you can still join the Purity Culture and Masculinity Group that meets: Wednesday nights (we begin tonight at 7pm ET) or Thursday nights! (We begin tomorrow night at 9pm ET- this group is great for night owls and West Coasters) Another group begins this Sunday May 10 and runs on Sundays at 11am ET. You have four more days to join that one, and there is one spot left! Each group session is 1.5 hours long. If you are interested in these groups and the...
23 days ago • 1 min read
Sometimes social media makes me think "We really don't need to hear all of each other's thoughts." I have this thought when I see posts made by men, urging other men to not accidentally appear gay. Some of the things that might make you appear gay, according to Toxic Internet Masculinity: eating salad enjoying a fruity cocktail being vegetarian being nice to people being really into your wife/ girlfriend driving an electric vehicle I wish I was making up that list, but every single thing on...
25 days ago • 2 min read
I care about purity culture not just because I want people to to feel more joy and ease and less shame in their sexuality. I also care about purity culture because it's part of a much larger and sinister political project. So I'm absolutely thrilled that this week, the I've Had It Substack features an in depth interview with me- their first of a few! The Purity Culture to Fascism Pipeline was written by brilliant journalist Julia Sonenshein. I've Had It is a hugely popular podcast by Jennifer...
28 days ago • 2 min read
A male client once told me that his wife and pastor insisted he go to a "rehab" program because of his addiction to viewing pornography. How often did this man engage with pornographic material? It must have been a lot, right? According to him, he looked at porn maybe 3 to 4 times per year. In his pastor's view, this was enough evidence to indicate that he had a problem. Here's something I personally find super interesting: a meta-analysis of research on pornography concluded that porn use...
30 days ago • 2 min read
PCD MEN'S GROUP: TELL ME MORE A brilliant friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Jennifer Pollitt, reminded me recently that when people ask us questions about sex, what they're actually asking underneath is am I normal? Am I worthy? Am I lovable? Am I safe? Am I enough? These are the questions at the core of so many issues we struggle through. Relatedly, I see the phrase "male loneliness epidemic" being used all the time on social media: I also see this retort from women when an individual man...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
MEN'S GROUP: TELL ME MORE I just got back from a trip to Muskegon, MI. I put some little business cards promoting The Purity Culture Recovery Guide in a few different coffee shops there. If you happen to find one, take a pic and I'll send you a prize! :) Find a card/ win a prize! As a sex educator who works specifically with people who were harmed by purity culture, you might suspect that my clients are mostly women and nonbinary people. You would absolutely be correct! I don’t remember when...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Purity Culture and Masculinity is a new Purity Culture Dropout™ group for men who want to examine masculinity and patriarchy, especially in light of the rise of Christian Nationalism. Learn More and Sign Up Now This group is for men who want: A safe place where you can discuss your experiences with gender roles and expectations, masculinity, patriarchy, sexuality, and what it means to be a man in today’s world To build community with like-minded men (I know so many of you leave religious...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hey pals! I have a few things to share with you today, in no particular order! I'm about to take some time away to travel and visit family and friends, which means that I will be unavailable for client sessions from April 15 through May 3. If you want to chat about an urgent matter before I go away, there are 3 days you can book before my leave and I'd love to have you!! Otherwise, my books are open again for May 4. I've gotten the full curriculum written for the new men's group, Purity...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read