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Erica Smith, Sexuality Education and Consulting

I literally can't believe you said that

Published 2 months ago • 3 min read

"I literally can't believe you said that"

That's something I've NEVER said to a client or even thought in my head about anything someone's told me about a sexuality matter. Nothing shocks me. Nothing surprises me. In 25 years of sexuality work, I've heard it all.

But I literally can't believe you said that has popped into my head when people tell me about all the lies they were told about sex and relationships, especially the ones from religious purity culture.

"...what did you say that youth group leader said?"

My work is about undoing the lies and setting you on a path forward

Yesterday I had four client sessions and we covered so much ground:

  • One person is in a new relationship but has some fears about having sex. We talked about anatomy, genital self image, receiving pleasure, how to get over the idea that vulvas and vaginas are gross, and more.
  • Another person in a new sexual relationship is struggling with questions about desire, sexual frequency, and disclosing information with partners- since some fundamentalist Christian sex books taught him so much misinformation.
  • Another person talked to me about navigating dating and breakups while keeping herself grounded and centered and not bending to the whims of others like she was taught to.
  • Another person is new to gay dating and LGBTQ+ spaces like clubs and bars. We talked about navigating those situations safely and enjoyably.

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​What would you want to talk to me about? What are your questions or dilemmas about sex and relationships that you need help with- especially if you feel like they're "silly" questions that no one your age should have?

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This summer my books are open to take a few Purity Culture Dropout™ Program intensive clients. The PCD Program involves working with me individually, and it's the highest level of support I offer.

Alumni have described working with me like this:

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Working with Erica through Purity Culture Dropout™ was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself in my adult life. While I had already done some decent work on deconstructing purity culture on my own terms, there was still so much for me to learn and unlearn (anatomy! sexual health! sex worker advocacy! homophobic-based fears and/or sexual attitudes!). I think anyone raised in Purity Culture has so much to benefit from in working with Erica, but so does any other individual. She provides a safe and shame-free environment where no question or thought is unwelcome to better understanding. She has so much empathy and knowledge to offer. I was empowered, supported, affirmed, and challenged by Erica in every session we had. She enabled so much growth in my sexual and personal well-being, I sincerely cannot say enough good things. I highly recommend you work with Erica the first chance you get.
Working with Erica through PCD has been one of the greatest investments of my life, and I don't say that lightly.
When I first heard of the Purity Culture Dropout program, I knew it was for me. But, like purity culture reminds us, I felt very unworthy of help, and very selfish for craving it. Through working with Erica, I have felt truly validated, seen, known and liberated. She is wholeheartedly genuine. She wants you to be the most you that you can be, not anyone else. She is wise, gentle, hilarious, gritty and passionate. She has helped me deconstruct ideas and mindsets that do not serve me, and has encouraged me in building up ones that do. Saying "Yes" to PCD was saying a powerful "No" to being held hostage by a system that has already stolen too much from me and others hurt by purity culture. Saying "Yes" to PCD was saying yes to myself, all of me. I thought I could handle wading through the rubble Purity Culture left me all by myself. Really though, I needed a lifeline. I needed a hand to guide me out to the other side. That lifeline, that guide, was Erica. I'd say yes to that a million times over again. Let yourself be loved, cared for, championed, supported and seen by Erica through this massive dismantling. You deserve it.

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​Are you ready to do this for yourself?

​You can apply formally through my website here or just reply to this email letting me know that you're interested:

I hope to hear from you soon.

xoxox

E

ps: here are some other ways we can work together

113 Cherry St #92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2205
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Erica Smith, Sexuality Education and Consulting

The Purity Culture Dropout™ Program

I developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to help people learn all of the sex education that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed that is accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive. I have worked with hundreds of people to help them learn about healthy sexuality after high control religion. Subscribe if you're curious about / invested in shame free sexuality education that's specifically tailored to the needs of people coming out of high control religions and purity culture. Expect information not just about healthy sexuality and upcoming programming, but also cultural commentary on sexual politics in the US. I'm a sex educator with 25 years of experience and I'm excited to share that with you.

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