Hey Newsletter Friends,

How are you all doing? Exhausted but taking care of yourselves? Terrified but managing? Losing your shit but somehow still hanging on?

Yeah, that's about what I expect.

One of my fave online therapists, Dr. Lauren Fogel-Mersy, shared some really important info this week. She's based in Minneapolis.

She writes:

She shares some advice based on the Dual Process Model of Coping With Bereavement used in grief counseling.

We will get through this by moving between coping skills that confront what's happening (like donating, calling reps, mutual aid efforts, protesting, staying informed/educated) and coping skills that take breaks for respite (like time with friends, movement, exercise, tv/books/movies, reading for pleasure).

This was really important for me to hear, and I hope it resonates with you, too. I hope it resonates for anyone feeling guilty about doing fun things or taking breaks from the news.

Some of my personal coping skills that confront what's happening: donating, learning how to respond to ICE in my own community, using my platform to speak up, checking on loved ones in the Twin Cities. Some of my coping skills that take breaks for respite: cooking and baking, powerlifting, my pets, spending time with friends, reading fiction, watching tv.

What are yours? I'd love to hear it and I'll share in my next newsletter.

A few things to share with you today:

• ​My book comes out in TWENTY DAYS. I can't believe it's almost here. I'm so proud of it. I worked my ass off on it.

Here's the book description:

You deserve to understand your body, embrace your sexuality, and find joy without shame. For those raised in purity culture, messages about sex were rooted in fear, silence, and control. Virginity was prized above all else, sexual desire was condemned, and women, queer, and trans people were often left shrouded in shame. The results have been devastating: fear of intimacy, painful or unsatisfying sex, and a lingering sense of brokenness.
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In The Purity Culture Recovery Guide, sex educator Erica Smith-founder of the Purity Culture Dropout® program-offers the comprehensive, inclusive, and trauma-informed sex education many never received. Drawing on more than two decades of professional experience, Smith replaces shame with empathy, self-compassion, and empowerment. She provides medically accurate information about bodies, birth control, pleasure, communication, consent, and abortion, alongside affirming discussions of gender, sexuality, and relationships.
Smith's approach is both practical and healing. Readers will learn how to set boundaries, challenge damaging beliefs, explore their own sexual values, and build a new sexual ethic based on respect, autonomy, and joy. Most of all, this book insists that there is nothing wrong with you.
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Whether you are beginning your recovery from purity culture or seeking to deepen your sexual self-understanding, The Pleasure You Deserve is an essential, shame-free guide to reclaiming pleasure and rewriting your sexual story.

Aaaah! You can preorder it now and it will arrive on February 19!

BUT TODAY JANUARY 30 IS A NATIONAL SHUTDOWN SO DON'T BUY IT TODAY!

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• Another thing: I had my website redone and upgraded! Now it's really pretty :) My friend Luca is a website designer and I was so happy to hire them.

• New podcast interview: One Nation, Indivisible with Andrew Seidel. The episode title is "Sex, Purity Culture, and Christian Nationalism with Erica Smith."

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• ​The Purity Culture Dropout™ Queer Support Groups are in full swing now and they're SO GREAT. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's such a privilege for me to meet so many cool people through my work, and introduce them to each other in a supportive, educational group. We've already discussed identity and coming out, and this week we're discussing shame. I'm so proud of the members already.

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• ​The Purity Culture Dropout™ Divorce Support Groups wrapped recently, and I also can't say enough good things about the participants and the way they showed up for each other. I miss y'all already!

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• This week in the Purity Culture Dropout™ Private Community (a private space away from socials), we're having a Heated Rivalry Discussion Group! And we welcome new members!

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• You can always join the private community at a discount of $30/month if you've done any of my support groups or have been a PCD Individual Client - just email me for the link! (But again- wait until it's not January 30 to do that!)

Ok, I think that's enough for today. Thank you SO much for your interest and support of my work, as always. And don't forget to let me know what the dual coping strategy looks like in your life.

xo

E

ps it's freezing in Philly. I'm cuddling with these guys:

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600 1st Ave, Ste 330 PMB 92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2246
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